just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
