Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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