You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
