i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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