Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
