Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
