Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
