after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
