she was so not down for the gang bang
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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