it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
