the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
babies were throwing up all over the place
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
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Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
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Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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