he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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