we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
