rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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