her facebook's as public as her vagina
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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