Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
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