I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
do nipples grow back?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
