piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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