She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I deserve this hangover.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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