Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
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i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
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It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I believe in your delicious
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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