Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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