How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
