i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
