One girl and one boy is just not enough.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
