I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Gay?
German.
Pity.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
