I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
