ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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