I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I want you more than these girls want KFC
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
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