it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
