Ambien. No doubt about it.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
