I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
