you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
