So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
