so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
