Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
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