Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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