come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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