Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Randomize