After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
