And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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