I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize