I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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