i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
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