New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize