Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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