i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
my sisters under your porch take her home
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
