He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
