but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
how does that bad decision feel?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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