Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
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