If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
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i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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