I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
