is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
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When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
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I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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