just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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