Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
It's blow job season.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize