I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
