I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
