Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
