Texts From Last Night

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  (631): View more from New York

  Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.

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  (631): Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans. http://tfl.nu/f9ad
  Replies (74) Good night (4240) Bad night (2004)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets

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  (414): I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets http://tfl.nu/vdn6
  Replies (14) Good night (1152) Bad night (3908)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?

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  (503): All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for? http://tfl.nu/oe9a
  Replies (10) Good night (3021) Bad night (1079)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found

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  (405): I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found http://tfl.nu/l324
  Replies (7) Good night (2944) Bad night (1421)
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.

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  (912): Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane. http://tfl.nu/mwfa
  Replies (4) Good night (1942) Bad night (941)
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  (830): View more from Texas

  Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester

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  (830): Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester http://tfl.nu/187b
  Replies (5) Good night (2107) Bad night (1018)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.

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  (416): Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse. http://tfl.nu/9wwo
  Replies (10) Good night (3565) Bad night (813)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.

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  (614): If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health. http://tfl.nu/8ftn
  Replies (7) Good night (1628) Bad night (982)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.

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  (205): After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis. http://tfl.nu/x2c8
  Replies (4) Good night (2099) Bad night (617)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.

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  (360): Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try. http://tfl.nu/j8hc
  Replies (2) Good night (692) Bad night (1008)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check

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  (816): Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check http://tfl.nu/m7vz
  Replies (8) Good night (1656) Bad night (593)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.

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  (406): We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned. http://tfl.nu/5o0t
  Replies (4) Good night (1260) Bad night (583)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.

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  (904): You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish. http://tfl.nu/q7o6
  Replies (4) Good night (2057) Bad night (754)
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  (510): View more from California

  Do they make liter beers?

  (727): View more from Florida

  They make 40s

  (510): View more from California

  Do they make 2 liter beers

  (727): View more from Florida

  They make 2 40s

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  (510): Do they make liter beers? (727): They make 40s (510): Do they make 2 liter beers (727): They make 2 40s http://tfl.nu/pvof
  Replies (11) Good night (1129) Bad night (405)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.

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  (647): The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks. http://tfl.nu/cwoi
  Replies (2) Good night (542) Bad night (235)

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