I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!