I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
where does the pee come out of this thing
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Everyone says I win the strip club
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me