Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.