is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.