so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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