Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize