i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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