U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
