It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
