I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
