I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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