the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
