CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
