This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
