She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Four minutes until I can fart!
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize