He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
