LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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